How to Overcome Fear of Death or Dying
71Why I'm no longer afraid to die....A personal story
Thanatophobia is the fear of death. For many people, out of all the fears, Death is the biggest phobia. I had a dying anxiety and fear. I remember when I was younger, I used to just not think about it. I would say, "I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid of pain". But this was a lie. I had an irrational fear of dying but for me it was very real.
I was raised as a preachers kid. And like many Christians I believed in life after death in Heaven. And if this is true, then why do so many people fear death? Perhaps deep inside we long for proof.
I was blessed to spend some time prior to my grandmother passing away. I cherished the time spent with her and feel blessed that I was able to witness a beautiful moment.
I had received a phone call from my Mom in Illinois that the time was near and if I wanted to say goodbye I needed to get out there. So my sister Susan and I got on a plane and headed out.
By the time we arrived Grand-mom was in and out of consciousness. One moment she knew who I was the next she would think I was my Mother.
My sister and I encouraged my Mom to leave and take a break. Susan and I stayed with my Grandmother. This is when we experienced what I could only describe as a miracle. Well to me it was. It was the moment that I realized there was life after death.
As my grandmother layed there in what looked like a deep sleep she would "sleep talk". She was talking to people in the room that only she could see. Her expression on her face was that of pure peace. At first we thought she was dreaming and when we touched her, her body was very cold. After we touched her she would become warm again and then her face would grimace. She almost seemed irritated with us. It was like she was saying "I'm at peace, Stop bugging me". It was actually kind of funny. It was almost as if when we would touch her we would pull her back to this dementia. She was clearly happier there. She was so much at peace when she was talking to the spirits in the room. We would ask her who she was talking to and she would say "I'm talking to my friends".
We mentioned it to the nurse and she said it was very common for people close to death to talk to angels or spirits.
My Mom experienced the same thing. My Grand-Mom told my Mom that she was talking with Melvin. Melvin is my grandfather who passed over in 1992.
This was the moment that I lost all fear of death. I felt and experienced it. I believe this was a gift from my Grandmother to me.
Since this experience I have done lots of reading about other peoples experience. I believe that when we pass our loved ones come and greet us to help us cross over to the other side. I know they(spirits) were there in the room, but my sister and I couldn't see them, because our souls were still in our bodies. However, my grandmothers soul was half way between here and there.
I've also read about people who have near death experiences where they have similar experiences. They experience such joy and contentment that they actually don't want to come back.
Now at 45 years old I have no fear of death. I believe that my spirit will move on when I am finished with my body. I believe my loved ones including my Grand-mom will help to show me the way.
I also now believe that I will choose to come back again and again. But that is another hub!
Choices for Living: Coping with Fear of Dying
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Choices for Living: Coping with Fear of Dying (Path in Psychology), Thomas S. La
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Phobia Of Dying
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Being there with my Grandmother at this special time is an experience I will never forget and I am also grateful. It actually forced me to face this anxiety and fear. One of the best way to deal tread phobias is by dealing with strait on but there are also other treatments for phobias. You can learn to be worry free and overcome your fears by seeing a therapist or you can use natural treatments like meditation.
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What a beautiful article - I love it and will send the link out...
Thanks
Thank you!
Lovely hub and very similar to what happened to my father. He would also look towards places in the room (where there was no one - that we could see) and smile and even try to raise his hand towards the area.
Thank you. This has brought comfort to me in my fears of dying
Nice Post: You are correct- there is no reason to fear death- Read my 3 part serieds on my own Death- I do not fear death any more. I only fear-fear, pain, emotional or physical I don't fear it as much as I wish to avoid discomfort.
"Wjen a man lies he murders some part of the world, theses are the pale deaths which men missscall their lives, cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home " To Live is To die" J.Hettfield but really I have a 3 paer series on my own death
I loved your experience, but not only do i fear dying but i believe i don't have a soul/spirit. Therefore, there won't be anyone waiting for me when i do die. My experience in life is that no-one takes to me, not even my own mother liked me so what do i do? I go through life craving approval from people, fail miserably so wallow in depression. I've tried volunteering in all manner of things but it is acceptance from others which i most crave.
Debbie, I am so sorry that you feel this way, it makes me feel sad for you. One thing that I do know is that you do have a soul. I know because I felt your spirit as I read this and you touched my heart. Stop worrying about what others think and know that you are a child of the creator which makes you perfect. Love yourself and others will. Like attracts like. I love you! ~ Wendy
This article shined a new light on death for me, my fear of death developed a few weeks ago when I was watching a show about elderly people that were miniutes from death, i saw that that was gonna be me one day, and i was so depressed about that, and since i was depressed about that, i convinced myself there was nothing after death, and i imagined an eternety of nothing, but after reading this article, i realized that when im at that point, and seeing spirits i might not want to come back
Tony, I am so glad this article helped you.
As an atheist, one who nearly died (heart stopped, breathing stopped) in 2005, I completely disagree with Sandyspider's assertion "For those that don't believe in the life after, the fear of dying is harder."
As far as "near death" experiences, this has never been a part of my belief system, therefore my imagination made no such memories.
Waste not your time here, as no one can really say for sure what's next. I life well spent was worth living.
I do not fear death. I never have, and never will
This is a beautiful hub. I work with people who have this fear. Your experience was so special, thank you for taking the time to share it with me!
Thanks for the sweet comment.
We fear ... what we do not Know ...
Get Ignorance out of your System ... Believe in God ... and Trust, what God hath Stated of the Afterlife ...
You will not fear.
There are only Two "Certainties" in Life ... one is of being born, the other is Dying... all the rest, is Variable, because of our own doings.
Therefore, there is very little, we can do about these Certainties ... However, what we "can" do, is being Realistic ...
Because, whether you fear, of do not fear, will not Change The Reality of Life and Death.
I have had a fear of dying since I was 11yrs old. I was raised in a militant Christian home that the fear of death and guilt were around me all the time.
Now as a mother I fear death to the point it has taken over my whole life and my physical well being.
I too saw my grandmother pass and she was the most amazing christian I have ever seen and I didnt feel like she was at peace, in fact it made things worse for me.
I want to know that I am going to heaven and that my life here on earth wasnt wasted in fear. I love God but I am afraid of him but at the same time does God even exsist. I hate feeling this way it sucks. I just want peace in my life and I want to live
I'm sorry you feel afraid of God. I was raised in a very religous Christian house. As a matter a fact I am a preachers daughter. I am still Christian, but I made a decision that I no longer want to practice Religion. In stead I have faith in God (I call him the Universe). I choose to believe God is loving and kind. So there should be no fear.
Something that may help you is to try and think back to before you were born. Before your spirit took the human form. Do you remember it? Probably not. But I think if life on the other side was something to be feared, we would feel fear when we think back to our souls exhistance before it took the human form.
Sorry to ramble....This is just my thoughts.
Im 14 and have a fear of death. It popped out of nowhere about a month ago and will sometimes pop into my head and scare me, i am scared of losing my family and it scares me that one day i will die. Because of that i researched proof of afterlifes and near death experiences, these gave me moments of security and really helped me deal with my fear, but eveentually it would go away and i fear the what ifs, i dont want to be 'nothing' once i die :(. So i find myself constantly going back to articles about near death and spiritual experiences to reconfirm to myself that there is nothing to fear from death. This was one of the first i read and i want to thankyou for providing something that can comfort me :) I know im only 14 but i think a lot and i am really scared of death, but your articles and many others really help me, i hope that one day i can have a spiritual experience that will completely erase my fears. Thanks a lot, i made this account to say all of that haha :D
I'm so glad I was able to help you. I also hope you are able to eventually erase your fears. I am very impressed with your comment. You are an amazing 14 year old.
A similar thing happened with my grandmother. She had been in a coma at home for a couple of days. My aunt, who was in the kitchen, suddenly heard my nan calling her from upstairs. She rushed up there, to find my nan sitting up and looking at the door of her bedroom. She then smiled, and said "mom" twice. She then lay back down and went back into her coma. She died a few hours later. However, I personally believe this was as a result of my nan's dying brain seeing things that were not there, but would love to believe that she really was seeing her mother.
I'm 15 and survived a 132 LB Ovarian cyst I had for 3 years.... I don't want to talk about it but your articule made this a tiny bit better.... I have autism, Depression and a slew of other conditions and dying is my worst fear... But again you made things a small amount better. Even though I feel like theres no after life... There can't be for all the pain earth has
@Furry Lovey, I'm sending you a hug. Thanks for the comment. I'm glad this helped you a bit.
I am glad that this experience brought you peace and freedom from fear :)
Thanks Maggs.
Thank you for sharing your story.
You're very welcome.
Wow - great story! I am 45 years old and I constanly fight my fear of death every day. It's horrible to live every day in fear of dying. I don't know why I have such a strong fear of it. I have talked with my Pastor concerning it and he wrote scriptures for me to read. I'm not afraid I won't go to Heaven. I just don't know. I still keep training my mind to be happy and live life without fearing death.
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Sandyspider Level 1 Commenter 2 years ago
For those that don't believe in the life after, the fear of dying is harder. Nice Hub.